Do some situations make you nervous? Do you doubt yourself and find it hard to make an impression? And yet other people seem to sail through life with absolute confidence? It can be a very real problem…
Just about everyone lacks self-confidence at some point in their life. But if it’s a recurring theme for you then it’s definitely an area to consider for Self-Improvement. Here are some ideas to give you a boost when you need it.
Feeling good inside your own skin
Confidence is not all in the mind. The way you treat your body can have quite an impact on your level of self-confidence:
- Personal hygiene: a comforting bath or an invigorating shower, a new haircut or shave, applying perfume or after-shave: all these can lift your self-perception and make you feel positive and confident.
- Sleeping in freshly-laundered sheets can help you wake refreshed and feeling clean and ready for the day’s challenges.
- A workout at the gym or a brisk walk can enliven and invigorate your body and put you in a positive frame of mind. Check out my “10% Taller, Faster and Happier” blog post!
- Posture and positioning are important: what does your body language say about you? Stand tall, smile, use open gestures. Sit at the front. Make eye contact.
- Declutter your surroundings and your life to make room for the more confident ‘you’. (Check out my blog post about de-cluttering.)
You cannot think one thing and ‘be’ another, so if you are going to come across as confident and capable, you must think confidently and capably, too! This might sound hard, but just follow a few simple Dos and Don’ts and you’re well on the way:
- DO concentrate on things you are good at and things you like about yourself
- DO have a plan and follow it, such as a to-do list or a well-structured calendar for your day
- DO praise other people when there’s an opportunity: the positive feedback will grow your own confidence
- DO take opportunities to learn new skills
- DO observe and learn from others, BUT…
- DON’T copy others; be your own person
- DON’T compare yourself with anyone else; instead, measure your progress against who you were last week, last month or last year
- DON’T enter into gossip or idle chat; instead, find positive things to say about the person being discussed
Of course, this is not intended to be an exhaustive list of self-confidence techniques; many great (and not so great) books have been filled with tips, hints, tricks and hacks to boost your self-confidence. Rather, it is a small collection of hints and tips that I have found to be useful personally. In addition to the ideas above, consider these:
- Imagine being visited by a better, stronger, more confident version of you from the future. What advice would you give yourself ?
- Make a larger plan, such as a set of five-year goals or booking a major holiday.
- Take time to be grateful for all you have and all you are. This will feed your positivity and enhance your self-confidence.
- Consider some meditation. If you have a faith (as I do) this can take the form of prayer if you like. Or you can try some Mindfulness exercises. These can be very useful for taking your mind away from negative self-perceptions.
- Be prepared to pretend to be confident even when you are not. You may well find you can “fake it til you make it”!
As always, none of the above ideas or techniques are any use in Self-Improvement if all you do is read about them. Choose something to try and see how it affects your self-confidence. Consider keeping a diary to see how things change as you put these principles into practice. Don’t be prepared to settle for mediocrity: be the self-confident Self-Improver you’ve always wanted to be!
Have you had success in building your confidence using any of these methods or do you have other confidence-building systems that have worked for you? Let me know in the comments below, or drop me an email and tell me your story. I answer all emails personally.
To our continued Self-Improvement and success!
The Self-Improvement Guy